WE LOVE YOU, AUNTIE ANNA

It’s always so strange…gut feelings…little signs…the cosmic connection. Last evening, in my nightly phone call to my mom, because of the presidential debates, we spoke only briefly. I wanted to touch base with her, but I also wanted to see the debates in light of the economy. Usually, I try to engage her in stories of old…she likes telling them; I’m always fascinated in the dramatic differences of her childhood vs. mine. Despite their poverty, she has very happy memories of her family life. Not all things were hunky-dory by a long shot, but her “that’s life” attitude…her ability to find a “pearl of wisdom”…their “making” it in so many “make-it-or-break-it” situations (attitude and grit…failure was not an option) …simply astounds me. The unassuming sincere faith that God would provide…their gratitude for what little they had…their commitment to family... were all interlaced with such a love for each other that we’ve joked that the Polka’s were all somehow connected at the hip. I sometimes think that since they had so few material possessions to distract them, they learned each other quite well…they talked, they played, they adventured, they cried they laughed with each other so much, that each knew the others inside and out...they "learned" each other…brothers and sisters biologically and spiritually.

Our family “vacations” were comprised of several families going to Grandma’s for a week, and “Spring cleaning” the house. Well, the brothers-in-law went fishing and the Polka girls worked. If there were some real “man” jobs, like shingling or sawing down trees, the guys worked that in prior to their trek north. But for the Polka girls, it was a week of volunteerism. Grandma and Grandpa had a full service crew for the duration. Curtains came down and were laundered; floors were washed and waxed; painting the house inside and out; caulking cracks around windows to keep out the winter winds (and summer bugs); wall papering (Auntie Bea’s specialty was redoing the inside of the outhouse!!). They mowed, weeded, planted flowers. Josie…and sometimes Grandma, would cook; (Grandpa had had a stroke, so he lost use of his right side); Anna was the seamstress/gardener; Jean tended to all the kids (it was like a daycare, depending on who all were there…6-12+ of us!!)…mom and Aunt Bea were the carpenters/painters/handy-women. Auntie Stella was the only one who was employed outside the home, so she rarely made it to the annual “festivities”…but she helped with the finances…and that was fine with everyone.


I have such fond memories of sitting in the kitchen up at Grandma’s house, with the Polka girls around the table…they finished each other’s sentences…they knew what the other one was thinking before anything was even said…there was a sororal intimacy. After a full day’s work (and even during), I remember lots of laughs… sides splitting, tears rolling, Buzzy’s root beer thru the nose sessions of laughing…over the silliest and simplest things. Yet, when things got serious, if one of them was in need, there was an army of 5 at their side. They had sort of a marriage, each of them with their unique assets and gifts, complimenting and sharing talents, making one pretty dynamic machine. Once in a while, even some of the brothers visited with their families…Tony, Joe, Chet, Wally, Steve, Ted, John, Frank…the more, the merrier…more cousins!! What’s another 10 when there’s already 20, right?? (of course, I didn’t have to cook!). We slept in the attic…like a sauna in the summer…beds lined up wall-to-wall…a symphony of snoring…one big happy family!! I know it sounds gross, but when it was time for baths, the cleanest kid got in the water first…and ended with the dirtiest! (the poor boys). Water was at a premium. Life was simple…we had fun. At week’s end, the house was ready for yet another year. I will always be grateful for the abundance of love in which I was raised…and dwelled…and was submersed. On those “vacations”, I saw hard work at its best. I witnessed family working together, side by side. I saw generosity at its peak. I watched respect being born from children to parents…and parents to children…lots of good life lessons. I never craved Disneyland.

Like I said, last night, because of the presidential debates, my call to my mom was short. But I always have a question for her…and last night, I asked her who was her favorite…sibling. She paused, and very diplomatically stated that she liked them all…but of the boys, she was closer to Joe when they were kids. He was about 3 years older than she was. They cut wood together..they always danced together at the neighborhood dances…and she was a major intervention in saving his marriage in later years. But of the girls, she couldn’t really choose…different points in life brought her closer to them all…connected at the hip. And then her next comment haunted me after we hung up. But, I suppose, in answer to my quesstion, it forced her to go through the catalogue of sibs. She said… “Yeah…now all the boys are gone…and there’s only the four of us girls left.” It was still a rather large family up until a few years ago…Tony, Josie, Frank, Ted, John, Chet all passed away within months of each other…that was a difficult time for us all, but especially for them, because they were all so close. So when mom said that, it just kept resurfacing to my consciousness…not sure why. I was watching the debates…maybe it was her tone…there was a nostalgic sadness in her words…and they just kept replaying in my mind. Not that it was any great revelation…but it just hit me that 4 will become 3 and 2 and 1…and then that Polka legacy will be up to the next generation.

At 9 this morning, I picked up the phone to call my mom…I just wanted to talk to her…that ill feelling still wreaked throughout. While the phone was in my hand, it rang. It was my mom. And I could tell by her voice that something was wrong. And then I heard the words, “Auntie Anna died this morning”. Prophetically, 4 became 3 overnight.

Auntie Anna was 92…these last years have not been easy for her, ravaged with the thief of Alzheimer’s. When I was in Wisconsin over Labor Day, we visited her. Ironically, she told us that she thought it was the end and I wondered…she’s had many close calls, but has always pulled thru…

Auntie Anna loved to sew…loved flowers…and was the family beautician for many years. From 1959-1980, their family lived just 2 doors down from us. She was like a 2nd mom…if I wasn’t home, I was at her house. My cousin Nancy was just a year younger…we were best friends back then. Auntie Ann came to my piano recitals, school plays…she encouraged me along the way. We (my mom, me, Auntie Anna and Nancy) had some fabulous outings to museums, carnivals, and shopping in downtown Chicago…especially during the Christmas season. She was a very generous lady to the family with her time and talent, often buying things for others when they were without. She took in family members when they were not able to be on their own. Christmas Eve celebrations were always at her home…full feast…homemade eggnog to boot. She was there with camera in hand…for my Confirmation, graduations, and proms. She called me “her angel”…not sure why…but I liked the thought that somehow, for as much as she brightened my yesterdays, I was able to bring some light to her last days.

What a wonderful reunion in heaven this day must be. Auntie, for all your service…kind heart…generous spirit…we thank you. We exalt God for transforming your pain and suffering. May our merciful God welcome you with open arms. May your brothers and sisters, Grandma and Grandpa and all lost family and friends be joyous upon your arrival…Polka dancing in triumph for sure! Although we mourn your earthly death and your passing from this world, we praise God for your life and the many ways you’ve touched ours. We will miss you, and please know from the bottom of our hearts, Auntie Anna, we love you!