Wednesday, October 1, 2008

EXPECT A MiRACLE

This is being written through sensory overload, so please pardon the literary shortcomings...but this is therapeutic the quickest way I can get the word out... Currently, I'm sitting next to my mom's bed; she is resting comfortably in contrast to last night. I've been camping out at the hospital; not my idea of a fun sleepover, but necessary from my perspective.

On Sunday, my mom and her 2 sisters and a niece went to pick out a casket for Aunt Anna. It was kinda of a last gesture for the Polka girls to do for their sister. Then they went out for a quick bite; returned home about 4. I tried to make my nightly phone call to mom, but the line was busy which was not an unusual thing considering the planning surrounding my aunt's funeral. I called several times throughout the night with thee same result. I finally called my Auntie Stella, she told me that they each had people to contact; I surmised that mom must have just not hung up the phone quite right; it's happened before. Auntie said that mom seemed fine over dinner. My brother called me around 11PM with the same complaint; he had been trying to reach my mom too. He suggested we call my Aunt Jean, the driver of the gang. She lives across town; it was late; she's almost 80 and doesn't like to drive at night; I knew it was a long day for them all. So I just tried to assure myself and him that by 9 the next morning, when mom tried to make her daily check-up call on Auntie Stella, it would correct the problem.

I went to work the next morning waiting for the minutes to pass by...figured I'd call around 9:15, giving the girls a chance to chat. Well, we were so busy....and when I looked up at the clock it was already 9:30....papers piled all over my desk, but I had to confirm my inkling. I figured my mom would answer the phone, I'd give her a gentle scolding, we'd laugh and I'd be back to my stack of papers. I did however, wake up to an uneasy feeling when I remembered that my mom said she would call me on Sunday with Aunt Anna's funeral plans...and didn't. So I dialed her number quickly and it was still busy.....I called Auntie Stella and she was just shy of frantic because my mom had NOT completed the daily ritual...and my stomach ended up in my throat. I didn't want to think the worst, but options were nil in my mind. My heart racing, I called Aunt Jean and she was not home, Before checking on my mom, she made the decision to stop at the florist with my Cousin Nancy for some floral arrangements. I reached her on her cell phone and she freaked out too. Nancy, her daughter Melissa and Aunt Jean wrapped it up quickly and when they pulled in the driveway, they knew something was terribly wrong....drapes were open (they should have been closed to block the sun)....the lights were on. They opened the door and mom was found unconscious on the kitchen floor next to the hutch. There was blood everywhere....from the kitchen sink to the hutch...all over the cupboards and floor. The doggie bag she brought home from the restaurant lay on the table, indicating that it must have all happened just shortly after they returned home at 4 on Sunday....it was now 10AM on Monday. The phone was on the floor. They called 911...

When I got the news, I just started shaking and sobbing... Julie, our receptionist came over to me and just threw her arms around me, stood me up and coaxed the news out of me....the office crew was terrific. My manager, despite the already chaotic day...knowing that I'm the only one in the office to do the month end billing said, "Joyce...go...you need to go." I mean I knew that....I just couldn't think clearly...or even speak coherently. They offered to drive me home, which I declined...I exited to a fire brigade of hugs and well wishes.

The post office responded to Mike in a similar fashion; we were packed and on the road 2 hours later. The boys rallied and were an hour ahead of us.

The reports got gradually worse....a massive deep brain hemorrhage; at first they were going to transport her to another hospital for surgery....then it was decided that she would never make the trip and the surgery may have only bought her a few hours and would probably cause more harm than good.....so they decided to just let nature be. Then we found out she had also had a heart attack. Judging by the bruises, she tried very hard to get help...and must fallen several times. She had a baseball size bruise on her forehead; cheek and chin bruised. Her right hand up to her elbow was purple as was her right shoulder (she was collapsed on her right hand)...knees elbows and hips have big bruises. The blood was from a wound on her right elbow...she had apparently dragged herself along the floor on her elbows, judging by the trail...somehow she had taken off her sweater. Nancy said when she picked it up, it was so drenched with blood that it pooled in her hand. Her cardiac, liver and muscle enzymes were all elevated; she was dehydrated. The terms feeding tubes, living will ...long term care...quality of life ...power of attorney...critical condition... kept mounting with each phone call. The car wasn't going fast enough (well, Mike did shave 1.5 hours off the trip, now that I think about it!)

When we arrived around 11 she was semi-conscious...her eyes were open, but distant and she was looking off to the side... she was just babbling jibberish...then there'd be an audible word like "hungry". She could not move anything on her right side. A 72 hour critical window was posted...if the bleed continued, she would not make it. If the bleed stopped the brain would still swell and possibly cause even more damage. I remember thinking, "At least she's not on a respirator."

Everyone else left. I curled up on thee sofa and prayed. The caffeine we used to stay awake for the trip kicked in....I may have slept a total of an hour. The staff performed numerous tests and labs on her throughout the night. Mike came to pick me up in the morning for my aunt's funeral...and we had a meeting with mom's primary care doctor and the neurologist to explain her prognosis....which was not the most encouraging. Patience, prayer and time were our allies in this fight. On a brighter note, her blood levels were improving...verbal input appeared logical; verbal output had a few more recognozable words and then would trail off to jibberish. The fact that she was even conscious was a miracle to me. A therapist was scheduled to evaluate her gag reflex: working=food; not working=feeding tube. We left so I could express my condolences to my cousin. It was decided that my brother and I would return to the hospital and the rest would attend Auntie Anna's funeral.

When we arrived back at the hospital, they were feeding her oatmeal and applesauce. Praise God...no feeding tube!! I cannot tell you how ecstatic we were!! Weakly she said our names...and answered a few other questions...some she could not. The doctors said that symptoms would probably worsen over the next 3 days due to the brain swelling. They really didn't; we've seen steady improvement...

To date...Wednesday: She is speaking coherrently, with some distortion due to the right side of her mouth being affected...she speaks in phrases...slowly. Her short term memory is inconsistant. Her bruising is subsiding. Blood levels continue to improve, however she now has a UTI. They do not think the heart damage was extensive. She is still on a soft/thickened diet....things like mashed fruit/water gets a thickener to prevent aspiration. Although she has minimmal feeling on her right side, she can wiggle her toes and squeeze my hand. They sat her up and she has regained sitting balance. She will take the spoon and sometimes feed herself with her left hand....



Because she is cooperative and "alert x4", they are recommending her to an inpatient rehab center over a nursing home. But she will have to tolerate 3 hours of therapy a day (occupational, speech, physical). She has to make progress, otherwise will be "demoted" to nursing home where they have 1 hour a day of all combined therapies. She may be transferred as early as Friday. There was a stipulation that upon her release from there, we had to guarantee 24 hour care for her. Those aren't small details...we will find a way.

You prayer warriors have been so awesome...her progress has been so encouraging and nothing short of a miracle!! However, there is still a long, long road to hoe. Retraining a 90 year old brain is a challenge. And even after the blood in her brain is reabsorbed (6-8 wks), there will remain scar tissue that will not function as regular brain tissue. Our goal is to get her back in her own home, living independently. Hopefully, she will tolerate the aggressive therapy and not get discouraged...it is an exhausting schedule. We pray for no setbacks...this is still really early in the process. They are establishing a whole new medication regimine, which is precarious at best. And once we return to Iowa, she will spend days by herself in a strange environment...that will be intimidating for her. I will need more time off work...somehow....we are also in the midst of harvest(Mike returned today).

I am so grateful to the grandsons who set aside time to be here on a moments notice. Their youthful energy has been encouraging, destressing and supportive. Ryan and Adam have just been gems throughout...helping with meals/dishes...great strong shoulders....thoughtful input. Mike is a gentle warrior of patience. Jackie has taken charge of meals/laundry so Ed and I can be here. And for the gang back home...Kathleen, you are a dear in so many ways for all you've done...Ruth Ann, we are so grateful for the prayer campaign...God is so good! Kimberley, thanks for the support too....and to all who have taken time in prayer to invite God's blessings into our lives these past few days, we are indebted and so humbly grateful.